An open letter to the girl in my dream:
First of all, let me apologize. By the look on your face, it was clear to me that you were upset when you got splashed. I could tell that a significant amount of water got on your book and it was, perhaps, ruined from the experience. Before I ask what you were doing sitting in the water fountain in the middle of the shopping mall, let me remind you that I did, indeed, get up to locate a towel for you. Just because I got lost on the second story (near banana republic), which, subsequently, turned into a medieval dungeon, doesn't mean I wasn't sincere in the undertaking. Although you said nothing, I am certain that you were displeased by the entire engagement. Had I known someone was sitting under the footbridge that spanned the fountain, I would not have leapt in near that exact spot. I pray that, in hindsight, you find my action irreverent instead of malevolent. If ever I return to your mall, which, as I recall, was almost entirely populated with bipedal lizardfolk, I shall make a point to stay clear of the fountain. I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.
Sincerely,
Sprocketplug
1 comment:
Dearest Sprocketplug,
Thank you for your considerate missive. I did indeed have to purchase a second copy of my book that day and let me tell you: finding one copy of a Denise Richards biography is hard enough- let alone two.
In return for your kind words I offer you this sage advice: If upon returning to my mall any of the lizard people offer you a "cologne sample", politely decline and remove yourself from the area as quickly as possible. Trust me.
Best wishes,
The Girl in Your Dream
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