Wednesday, May 27, 2009

His blood ran cold...

Yesterday was the second time that I've given a double red cell donation at my local Red Cross.




For those of you unfamiliar with this newfangled process, it works thusly. For a regular, whole blood donation, you give a pint of red goo straight from your vein to the bag. The three major constituents of blood (excluding white blood cells) are the red blood cells, plasma, and platelets. Without getting into too much detail (read: this could be bullshit I just made up), the plasma is the fluid, the red blood cells carry oxygen, and the platelets are an important factor in producing blood clots.




So, when you give a double red donation, you give twice as many red blood cells as you do during a regular donation...but you get your plasma and platelets back. No, they don't give you a doggy bag filled with icky yellow liquid, they run your blood through a centrifuge, spin out the red blood cells, which should be heavier (hemoglobin has iron in it, right?) than the rest of the junk. Then they give you back your platelets, plasma, and they throw in half a pint of saline solution at no extra charge. Wonderous, isn't it? They pause the donation at three separate times and give you back your fluids. It goes back through the same needle and you can't even feel it! The best part about the donation is that your blood can get to another person much faster because it doesn't need to hang around to get separated.

So, my first time through, I was sitting there, marveling at the wonders of modern science when my lips started to tingle. No worries, I thought, it's just nerves. But them my stomach started to twitch a little bit and I started to tremble. I couldn't figure out what was going on. I've given gallons of blood in my lifetime and never had any adverse effects. The donation ends and I need to sit for a good 20 minutes before I feel like moving.

I thought about it for a while and then I came up with a hypothesis (later confirmed by Sprocketplug Senior, Doctor of Medicine). It turns out that I was cold. Why, you ask? Well, during the return, they gave me a little more than half a pint of saline solution. That's just salt water, but it was being stored at room temperature, let's call it 67 degrees Farenheit. Normal body temp is around 98 degrees so that was a little shock to my system. I didn't recognize the feeling, because I've never gotten cold from the inside out. Weird, right?
Anyway, the second time was better since I brought a heavy sweatshirt and winter cap, but I still got the same trembly feeling. I might go back to just giving a pint of whole blood, but we'll see.

Sprocketplug out.

Friday, May 22, 2009

blogger ennui

So, I've been thinking about this blog quite a bit recently. I don't really know what I should do with it. I feel like I want to post more. Lord knows I can wax whimsical with the best of them...but I don't really know where to go.
I've thought about several things:

1. reviewing video games i've been playing
2. reviewing girlfriends that i've been sleeping with
3. talk about my life as an educator
4. discuss, in depth, the relative usefulness of foam vs. gel shaving cream
5. make fun of fast eddie

one idea that will come to fruition is this: for my birthday, which was last week sometime, Fast Eddie and wife gifted me a year subscription to Parents Magazine. On the usefulness scale, this gift ranks somewhere between partially chewed pen cap and 100mL of lukewarm hamster vomit. Not that the sentiment wasn't appreciated.
I've received the latest issue as well as two back issues and all I can think about is how I can defile it. you know, cut and paste ransom letters, mix and match pictures that imply vile and disgusting things.

Just thought I'd muse aloud (so to write) a little.

-Sprocketplug