so close, yet so far away

So, Julie Legler called me today and told me that the original applicant for the teaching position at St. Olaf has decided (against all odds) to take the position, thus usurping yours truly. She told me that they could guarantee me a spot for next fall... but I think I should forgo that invitation and start looking elsewhere for gainful employment. I mean, I would love to work at Olaf, but I also would love to be able to feed myself in the months interim. Ah well.
So, here's the rub. If any of you lovely Minnesotan people hear of a job befitting a Master of Statistics please let me know.
For points of clarification:
A Master of Statistics is not uniquely qualified to

1. wait tables
   
2. sell bodily fluids for money
   
3. dig ditches
   
4. be a live in nanny with a british accent and a scathing wit
   
5. design, build, or maintain weapons of mass destruction
   
6. breed show dogs
   

Thank you very much.

Farm Wife by R.S. Thomas

Hers is the clean apron, good for fire
Or lamp to embroider, as we talk slowly
In the long kitchen, while the white dough
Turns to pastry in the great oven,
Sweetly and surely as hay making
In a June meadow; hers are the hands,
Humble with milking, but still now
In her wide lap as though they heard
A quiet music, hers is the voice
That coaxes time back to the shadows
In the rooms corners.
O, hers is all
This strong body, the safe island
Where men may come, sons and lovers,
Daring the cold seas of her eyes.

I passed

So, i found out my results yesterday. My friend, Shari, and I had planned on going out to eat that evening (and I wasn't expecting my results until thursday) so we went out anyway to celebrate. We went to Don Pablo's and I drank a daqueri that had to be 100 fluid ounces. let's see if I can find a picture. no luck, though I find the correct spelling of daiquiri. Anyway, Shari tells Sean, our server, that it's my birthday. Being an honest Puck, I tell him it's not my birthday, but in fact I have just passed my master's examination. He says "hell, we'll sing for you anyway." So after our meal, which passed with much delightful conversation, they came out clapping and singing. I stumbled out of the booth, stood on a chair, and outstretched my arms. (because I just HATE being the center of attention). So they sing, Happy Masters to You and I get a round of applause. Much fun.
Anyway, I got home, made a bunch of phone calls and then someone walks in my front door. it's Jeremy, Joanne, and Michael, carrying a bunch of beers and visibly intoxicated (not Joanne, the DD). So they tell me they passed, I tell them I pass, I chug one of their beers and we go across the street to Damon's where we proceed to drink at an alarming rate (*editor's note: Peter was already more than a little intoxicated before going to Damon's). so i get home at i dunno, no later than 12:00am and....now's a good time to mention, i still feel a little drunk...so i was thinking about going to bed, but every time I closed my eyes I felt the world vacillate at an alarming rate. so i put in The Princess Bride and watched it. I ended up staying up 'til about 2 or 3, when I felt like I wasn't going to toss my proverbial cookies. and now I'm awake. it's nine a.m. EST and I'm still feeling a little tipsy. I guess I won't be riding my motorcycle into school today.
So, thank you to all who have wished me well, and for those who have wished me harm: TAKE THAT BITCHES!

your friend,
The Plug

Nos morituri

Well,

it went o.k.
I won't know the results until next Thursday. I know that I did better than last year, but whether or not it's enough to pass is beyond me.
Ugh, I need a vacation.

Thank you all so much for the well wishes and words of encouragement.
I'll let you know when I get the results.

Cheers,

SP