Friday Night

So you may be wondering: "Sprocketplug, what does an incredibly popular, attractive, and interesting person like you do on a Friday night?"

Well, friends lemme tell you. Last Friday I was feeling a little ill. I had been sneezing as though the great dust bowl of the 1930's had lodged itself in my sinuses. I was feeling better after self medicating with various narcotics and low-level hallucinogens lying about the apartment, but I decided to spend a quiet evening at home.

So I decided to start the 7th and final season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I started around 2:00pm and was still going strong around 9:00. You should never doubt my ability to binge watch television series on DVD. (cf Mr. Gubbins and The West Wing also cf Mr. Gubbins and Psyche). As I watched this delightfully dark and deranged season, I began assembling my Lego™ AT-AT. I had almost finished the walker when I got a text message from my buddy asking me to meet him and his new girlfriend at the Newport to see the Sublime tribute band, Badfish. He asked me what I was doing and I paused for a moment and in one of those rare moments of self-awareness I became a little embarrassed. I was home alone on a Friday night watching Buffy and playing with Legos.
I'm proud to say that after that moment of embarrassment, I thought, this is exactly what I WANT to be doing. So there.
However, I really did want to meet his new girlfriend and I decided it might not be a bad idea to get outside once that day. So I went. It was pretty fun, the Newport is a great venue, and even if I'm not the biggest fan of Sublime, the music was good and my buddy's new girlfriend is pretty rad.
I don't spend a lot of time at these venues so a couple of things struck me:
1) Undergraduate Freshmen look like they're 12
2) I'm kind of a square

The three of us were hanging out by the back, near the exit for the smokers. This guy walks up and asks if I'll watch his beer while he goes out. There's a ledge that runs along the back wall from where we're standing to the exit and no drinks are allowed outside. He says that he left his drink there before, but it got swiped (probably by some 12 year old). I said no problem and I watched his drink. He came back a little while later and thanked me profusely then offered me a "nugget" for my troubles. I said it's not a problem and that I didn't need any payment. I say this because A) it really wasn't any trouble and B) I have no idea what a nugget is. If it's pot, which I'm reasonably sure it is, I probably wouldn't smoke something that this guy was holding. He looked a little sketchy. You know, the kind of guy who's built up such a tolerance that lacing his weed with a little powdered detergent just makes his fingertips tingle.

The show ended, the crowd shuffled out and I declared the night a success. Since then I've watched all but 4 episodes of Season 7. The show is amazing. Maybe later I'll try to describe why I love it so much, but for now, I'm not unable to unpack my heart with words.

the pater familias

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Revivification

Many things are happening in the life of old Sprocketplug.
Yesterday, the Fighting Librarian and I celebrated the anniversary of our first date. Our plans to reenact our first date fell by the wayside due to my upset stomach. That and we couldn't find the cat o' nine tails. Instead we spent a relaxing evening at home, watching Entourage and munching on chinese food.

One of the gifts I received from my sweetheart is pictured below.



Does this girl know me or what?
It's been a fantastic year (broken foot and all) and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

---

With the onset of fall-like weather comes a new school year, and honeycrisp apples!



Most of you have heard this all before, but Honeycrisp apples are one of my absolute favorite foods. The texture and taste are in perfect harmony. Heaven may very well be a Honeycrisp apple.


Lastly, my academic responsibilities start tomorrow.

I'll be taking three classes and for the first time ever I'll be a research assistant for Dr's Lemeshow and Lu. I haven't met with them regarding the project, so I'm not sure what my work will entail, but I am excited to help with some original research! Don't be surprised if I cure childhood leukemia by next Thursday.

Worries

There is a special collection of worries
that I keep in an old mahogany chest
in the attic of my mind

This is not where I keep those simple,
day to day worries
like
Does she think I'm cute?
What if I can't find parking?
What should I get my dad for his birthday?

If you were to open that old mahogany chest
in the attic of my mind,
you would see

What if a cockroach eats one of my toenail clippings
that fell under the bed? Will it absorb my DNA? Will it
become a half-human half-insect juggernaut of destruction?
What if every night I am replaced with a robot that has all my
memories? My voice, my thoughts, my desires all programmed
into its twinkling,
LED covered brain?
What if the only reason I haven’t developed pyrokinetic powers is because
of my disbelief?

And so I sit at my desk, staring at the black wick
of my lavender scented candle,
concentrating,
hands balled up on my knees
seeing,
in my mind’s eye,
an orange flame
blossom on that black, withered finger

at this moment, Lisa walks into my office
and asks
“Hey, Pete, what are you doing?”
“Huh?
Oh
I was just thinking about
what to get my dad
for his birthday.”

a pick me up

So, I just finished an episode of Buffy that had to be some of the saddest 43 minutes of television ever created. Joss sure knows how to tug on those heartstrings.

So let's talk about something happy. When I was in MN this summer I tried a concoction of Sierra Mist and some Falconer Vineyards Rose. It was heavenly. When I got back to Ohio I polished off the two bottles I brought home with me and then found a few good bottles in the wine store that's about 100 meters from my back door. I used 7up instead of Sierra Mist and liked it even better. Then I got to thinking, what else would go well with 7up? The Girlfriend and I tried a bottle of Sangria from local supermarket and that tasted delicious. I found that mixing 7up with orange juice creates a refreshingly zesty morning beverage. And just tonight I mixed some 7up with my Lipton's Green Tea. For all you tea lovers out there, Lipton's Green Tea is more like lemonade than tea, but that's exactly how I like it.

So before you start planning an intervention, I haven't been mixing my citrus soda with cocaine and I'm not planning on turning my apartment into a "sprite house." Does anyone else have any fun drink ideas that involve 7up?

-SP

If you could bottle and sell "badass."

The game that's been dominating my time: Batman Arkham Asylum. I paraphrase Joystiq.com when I say this game is more than a Batman game it's a Batman simulator. You feel as though you've stepped right into the Dark Knight's kevlar reinforced, henchman kicking, Joker stomping boots. You want batarangs? Check. You want the ability to stalk your prey from atop a gargoyle, then swoop down through a skylight, cape outstretched, boots connecting to the back of his head as if you were the very avatar of Justice herself? Done. Do you want to solve crimes and track evidence as the Worlds Greatest Detective? No problem. Do you want to clear a room full of bad guys with moves that would make Chuck Norris urinate in his trousers? You got it.

Few games have brought me such unmitigated glee as Batman Arkham Asylum. True, I'm a huge Batman fanboy, and that might be biasing my perspective, but I'm also a gamer and I know video games and I know production quality and this game just shimmers with polish. The voice acting is done by the cast of Batman: The Animated Series. Kevin Conroy reprises as the voice of Batman, and in my opinion no one does a better job. Mark Hamill (yes THAT Mark Hamill) voices the Joker with the kind of intense insanity that does justice to the mythology. The rest of the cast is also in tip-top form. The cut-scenes are beautiful, the music perfect, and all the pieces fall into place to make this an exceptional game.


Do you see that? That's your call to action.
Pick up the game, I implore you. You can't imagine what havoc the Joker will wreck if left to his devices.